just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
