I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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