If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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