and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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