Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
