Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize