Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
