And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
