I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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