Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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