Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
