you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
