i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
